My Friend is a Dream Demon One Shots and Deleted Scenes
by Animation101
Summary: Here are some One Shots and Deleted Scenes featuring Bill and Joe. JOE AND BILL SAVE CHRISTMAS
1. Cooking with Bill and Joe!

**This will be home for one shots and deleted scenes for My Friend is a Dream Demon**

**Cooking with Joe and Bill**

Joe: Hi! I`m Joe!

Bill: and I`m Bill.

Joe: We`re going to teach you how to make macaroni. First, you pour in boiling water into the pot. Got that, Bill?

Bill: Yep (Pours in cold water)

Joe: Then you pour the macaroni into the pot. After that you stir it around a bit. Now, we just have to wait 6 to 7 minutes!

**627 minutes later…**

Joe: (reading a book) Weren`t we doing something?

Bill: We were making macaroni.

Joe: I forgot! (Lifts up pot cover) Ewwwwwwwwwwww! Now for the final step, eating it. (looks at it and licks it) AGHHHHHHH! Bill, burn this!

**I didn`t know how to end it, So here are two endings.**

Joe: Next time on Cooking with Joe and Bill, We`re going to make popcorn. (cuts to them next to the microwave)

Bill: Joe, all you got to do is put a piece of corn in the microwave. Putting in a bag is for sissies. (Microwave breaks)

Joe: RUN! IT`S GETTING POPCORN EVERYWHERE!

**or…**

Joe: Next time on Cooking with Joe and Bill, We`re going to make chicken. (cuts to them handling a cooked chicken) Bill, why does this chicken still have a face?

Bill: Don`t ask questions.


	2. To Catch a Leprechaun

**To Catch a Leprechaun**

**Joe P.O.V.**

I walked behind Bill and yelled "DO YOU KNOW WHAT DAYIT IS?" Bill replied "March 17th." "It`s St. Patrick`s Day!" I yelled again. "I thought it was Dress up like an Alien Day." Bill said. "Ha Ha. Very Funny. I`m going to catch a leprechaun." I said. "You`re wasting your time. They`re really hard to catch." Bill said. I thinked of a way that would convince Bill to help me. I got it! "If you catch a Leprechaun, you get their gold." I said. In under a second Bill was already outside saying "What are we waiting for?"

Bill had already built his trap and it was huge. "I thought we were working together?" I said confused. "No way! If I catch the leprechaun, which I will, I`m not letting you take my gold!" Bill said. "Okay Bill, but remember Slow and steady wins the race!" I shouted. "The only reason that rabbit lost was because he was flirting with girls! I don`t flirt with girls!" Bill shouted back. "You don`t flirt with girls because the girls are flirting with you!" I laughed. Then I heard a snap. "I caught him!" I yelled. We both looked inside my small trap. It began to speak "Well, since you caught me fair and square, you get to have me Lucky Charms!"

"What?" I said confused "WHAT?!" Bill shouted turning red. Bill then picked him up and threw him into the sun. "Hey Bill, you`re not wearing green." I said pinching him while he was still red.

**Later…**

Note to self: Being shoved into the washing machine is not comfortable. At all.


	3. Science with Bill and Joe!

**Science with Bill and Joe!**

Joe: Hi I`m Joe and this is Bill. We`re going to try out several experiments. Our first experiment is Is it possible to beat Bill at a Staring Contest? Let`s find out. (Both stare at each other for a long long long long time until Joe throws a book at Bill)

Bill: That`s not fair!

Joe: Yes It is.

**Later…**

Joe: Okay Bill`s in the other room. This is an experiment I like to call The Incredible Bill! Bill turns red when he`s angry, so what happens if we paint him purple? (Walks in room where Bill is)

Bill: What are you doing with that purple paint can?

Joe: Hold Still!

Bill: (turns green and starts chasing Joe) GET BACK HERE!

**Later…**

Bill: In our final experiment, I`ve put Diet Coke and Mentos in this pot which will explode in 30 seconds. Joe doesn't know about this. Hey Joe! Get in here!

Joe: What do you want? Is it this pot? Did you put Diet-

**Kaploosh!**

"And everyone died. The End." Soos said finishing his story. Dipper sat on his bed and said "That didn`t help at all."


	4. Bills Story that is 100 True! Part 1

**I don`t Gravity Falls or that song from Muppets Most Wanted**

**Again, the song is from Muppets Most Wanted So, I didn`t write it myself.**

**Bill`s Super Awesome Story that is 100% True! **

**Part 1**

"Well, Maybe if you took it off fangirls won`t chase you!" Joe teased as he walked out of the room. Bill took his top hat off and looked at it. He and his top hat had been together since the very beginning. Maybe, it was time for a change. He didn`t really want to wear the same clothes forever like Pine Tree did. So, he went to off to find a new hat. As he dropped his old top hat, a certain dog came and picked it up.

Bill had changed into his human form to make sure no people would freak out. He then found a hat vendor. Bill looked at all the hats and found a baseball cap that reminded him of his old top hat. "How much for this one?" Bill said to the shady figure. "Twenty Dollars." The figure replied. "I`m just going to steal it anyway." Bill said as he ran off with his new prize.

Bill had just gotten home. He looked at his new hat and was going to put it on when. "People sleeping already?!" He shouted as he teleported out of the room. The baseball cap then sighed and said "Number Two, The plan isn`t working." A person who looked exactly like Pierre appeared in the window and said "Can you just stop calling me Number Two?" "No, Number Two. That is your place in the world. I`m the world`s most dangous supernatural criminal and you`re the second world`s most dangous supernatural criminal. Also, you`re a clone." Baseball Cap replied. "Can`t you just take over his mind? And like I said stop calling me Number Two!" Pierre 2 yelled. Baseball Cap then said "He has to put me on for me to take over his mind. And again you`re forgetting your place in the world because…"

**Baseball Cap: ****I'm number one**

**You're number two**

**We're criminals at large**

**But, I'm at larger than you**

**I'm number one**

**You're number two**

**I believe in equality**

**As long as you get less than me!**

**I'm one**

**Pierre 2: ****You're one**

**Baseball Cap: ****You're number two**

**Pierre 2: ****I'm number two**

**Constantine: ****You may think that you're smarter**

**But, I'm smarter-er than you!**

**I'm number one!**

**You're number two!**

**You're lucky to be number two not number three!**

**I can see by the look in your eye **

**You want to get the bigger piece of the pie**

**One day, you'll get your chance **

**But in the meantime, you've got to dance, monkey, dance!**

**Pierre 2 (spoken): ****Really? I hate dancing!**

**Baseball Cap (spoken):****DO IT!**

**(sung): Dance, monkey, dance!**

**(spoken): HA HA!**

**Pierre 2: (dances) ****I'm number two**

**He's number one**

**I can't believe I'm working for a piece of loin cloth **

**I'm number two**

**He's number one**

**Baseball Cap: ****I'm number one!**

**Pierre 2: ****Your life's gone to the dogs when your boss is a spotlight hog!**

**I can see it's just a matter of time before he's gone**

**And I'm at the front of the line!**

**It won't be long 'til I get my chance**

**But in the meantime, I've got to dance, monkey, dance**

**Baseball Cap: ****Dance, monkey, dance!**

**(Spoken): Now, watch me! (Starts dancing)**

**(Sung): I'm number one!**

**Pierre 2: ****He's number one!**

**Baseball Cap: ****You're number two!**

**Pierre 2: ****I'm number two!**

**Baseball Cap: ****I'll let you keep, there you go**

**Now step aside this ain't your show!**

**I'm one**

**Pierre 2: ****You're one**

**Baseball Cap: ****I'm number one!**

**Pierre 2: ****Yes, we know!**

**Both: ****I'm (He's) number one!**

**Baseball Cap: ****That's how it's done!**


	5. Bills Story that is 100 True! Part 2

**Bill`s Super Awesome Story that is 100% True! **

**Part 2**

Bill`s top hat knew he had to do something after hearing that villain song. But, he was in Jake`s mouth so he couldn`t get far. Jake had dragged him to the backyard. He just had put Top Hat down ready to bury him. The Top Hat made a mad dash for the door. Then, he just realized he was too little to open the door and Jake was coming right for him! Not knowing what to, Top Hat jumped. Jake then stopped and jumped too. Top Hat then realized he could get Jake to jump and open the door. Top Hat jumped and so did Jake. By jumping, Jake was able to open the door. Now it was up to Top Hat to save the day.

Bill had just come back from giving a kid nightmares. It was pretty tiring. Then as he sat down on Joe`s bed, he saw his top hat. He picked it up and said "How did you get out here?" Bill then realized that his top hat traveled all this way to see him. He hugged his top hat and said "I couldn`t replace you" "Yes, Very heartwarming like one of those sitcoms. Now put me on!" Baseball Cap yelled. "No, I want to keep Top Hat!" Bill shouted back. "Oh well, I was wondering if I had to pull this out." said Baseball Cap pulling out a gun. "Farewell!" He laughed evilly.

But as he was about to pull the trigger, Bill`s Bowtie jumped in the direction of the bullet. Baseball Cap lost his aim and fell into the toilet. Then Pierre 2 showed up. "Number Two! Save Me!" yelled Baseball Cap struggling in the toilet. "Looks like Number Two is about to become Number One!" said Pierre 2 as he flushed Baseball Cap down the toilet. Pierre 2 then disappeared. Bill looked as he saw his limp bowtie. Bill then turned blue as he cried. His Bowtie was gone because of his stupid mistake. He then realized clothes could not die as his bowtie came back to life. Bill then hugged his top hat and bowtie. Joe then walked looking a little roughed up. "Do you to hear how my bowtie saved me from the evil baseball cap?" Bill asked Joe while crying. "N-" Joe wasn`t able to finish his answer because he got flung out the window. "I thought Dream Demons couldn`t get killed by gu-" Joe wasn`t able to finish his answer because he got flung out the window. "Don`t interrupt me!" Bill yelled.


	6. Joe and Bill go to Taco Bell

**And No. I did not read you know what.**

**Joe and Bill go to Taco Bell**

"I`M HUNGRY!" Joe shouted.

Bill glared at Joe and said "What do you want?" Joe shouted "A TACO."

Bill said "There`s a Taco Bell around here and CAN YOU PLEASE STOP SHOUTNG?!" Joe then said "Ok."

When they got there, Joe said "Why doesn`t Taco Bell have a mascot?" Bill then said "The bell is the mascot."

Joe then looked at Bill and said "That`s like having a Computer for a mascot or a Bike or A Triangle! Oh, Sorry…" Joe then quickly waddled inside as Bill glared at him and started to turn red.

Joe and Bill ordered two tacos and sat down. Joe quickly ate his taco and said "I got to go to the bathroom. Be right back."

2 minutes later, Joe came back out of the bathroom and they both left.

Just then, Taco Meat started coming out from the dumpster and rised up to form a Taco Meat Monster!

"STOP!" The Taco Meat Monster said. Joe and Bill turned around to look at the beast. The Taco Meat Monster then said "All Gravity Falls characters must die at my domain! All who trespass will suffer! AND- Hey, What are you doing?"

Joe and Bill pulled out a sign and Joe said "GET YOUR FREE TACO MEAT!" Nearly everybody in the area ran over and ate the Taco Meat Monster in under one minute.

Joe then said "Well, That was easy." "You sure you`re not hungry?" Bill said. "Nope!" Joe said as he walked toward the house.

Later…. "I`M HUNGRY!"


	7. Christmas Special Part 1

**Christmas Special**

**Part 1**

Joe sipped a cup of hot chocolate as he sat near a fireplace. "Oh, Hello there! I`m just doing stereotypical Christmas things. Now you probably want to hear the story where me and Bill saved Christmas, right? Too late, you`re already here. So-"

It was a quiet Christmas Eve. It was snowing. It felt so warm and fuzzy. And Bill hated it. He hated the whole Christmas thing. It was awful. He hated the tree, the snow, the specials, and especially the ugly sweaters.

Joe was putting out Milk and Cookies. Bill blinked. "What are you doing?"

Joe said. "Putting out Cookies for Santa!" Bill laughed out loud. Joe blinked. "What?"

Bill said. "SANTA?! PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTT"

Joe said. "What are you saying?!"

Bill said. "Santa isn`t real."

Joe gasped. "REALLY?!" Bill nodded. Joe started to cry.

Bill said. "Oh come on, Joe-" He was cut off by the sound of bells on the roof. "What the?!"

Joe said. "SANTA!"

Bill said. "I just told you-"

They then heard something fall from the chimney. Instead of finding Santa, They instead found two elves. One said. "DARN IT PHILL, THIS ISN`T THE RIGHT LOCATION!"

The one named Phil saw the two and said. "Hello."

Joe said. "Are you guys elves?!" Bill said. "They`re midgets."

The other one kicked Bill. "OW!, You little….."

Phil said. "Anyway, Santa is sick! We were heading to the white house but we came here so yeah."

Joe said. "We gotta help him!" He ran outside with the elves. Bill said. "But…"

As they went outside they saw a sleigh with 8 reindeer. "Whoa…"

Joe climbed up into the sleigh as they sped off.

**To Be Continued…..**


	8. Christmas Special Part 2

**Christmas Special**

**Part 2**

As the sleigh almost literally crash landed at the North Pole, Joe took a deep breath. "OHMYGOSHTHATWASAMAZING"

Bill said. "More like nauseating."

Steve the Elf said. "Welcome to the North Pole! Cable here sucks."

They walked around before they got to the main building. As they walked in, the elves whispered about Joe and Bill. Bill growled. They ducked down.

They walked into where Santa was. He was asleep. Joe gasped. Steve said. "The doctors say he has a cold. Santa doesn't take a vacation no matter what BAKIN BASS says."

Steve said. "So yeah. We should have gotten the president. Christmas is cancled."

Joe said. "What?! From the number of Christmas specials that have rotton my mind I say…..What if we delivever the Presents?"

Bill and Steve said at the same time. "What?"

Later, Joe and Bill were in Santa outfits in the sligh. Steve had told them where to go. Bill said. "This is crazy."

Joe said. "Just name the reindeer and well be on our way.

Bill sighed. "On Dasher, Dixon, Cuipid, Donner, Rudolph, Hermy, Ronald, McDonald, and Dopey."

"You didn`t even try."


End file.
